A Job Well Done

What will I be when I grow up?

Originally published 8 February 2016

One game that parents seem to like to play is guessing what their babies are going to be when they grow up. Maybe it's partly from wishing the babies would get older and move out of home... But some parents seem to get a bit carried away with looking for special skills in their kids that aren't really there. Like the boy who scuffs a kick sideways off his shoe and his Daddy thinks he'll play for the All Blacks. Or the girl who blows into a whistle with her nose and her Mummy thinks she'll lead an orchestra one day.

It's much too far in the future for me to even think about growing up; I've got far too much fun to have in the terrible twos yet! But I did think I could help Mummy and Daddy out a little bit if they ever feel tempted to play the game. There are a few things I do which just might suggest certain types of jobs when I grow up.

It's fair to say I have a very hands-on relationship with our cats. Which means hands grabbing them when they're sleeping, or squashing them when they're eating, or even lifting them up almost off the ground. This roughing up of the cats surely means a career as a vet is on the cards. Maybe just a vet with a questionable bedside manner; the sort of vet you wouldn't take your favourite pet to. Sure I'd look after it, but it still might come out with one or two bruises more than it went in with.

One of my favourite Christmas presents was my Magna Doodle, where I can scribble pictures of trucks, aeroplanes and animals. As well as drawing I'm also quite fond of critiquing other people's artwork, like when Grandma was trying to draw an aeroplane of her own. Since I can definitely spot someone drawing something that looks very little like an aeroplane, I think being an art critic could be a job for me.

Another good thing about Christmas was that my car collection expanded from just a couple to well over a dozen. I have great fun playing with them and lining them all up, but not just in any lines - these are very ordered, straight lines, where I'm quick to tell Daddy off if he puts a car in the wrong place. I'm sure I'll soon be ordering them by size, colour, type... So something pretty ordered for a job would suit me just fine; maybe setting tables for the Queen or other royalty, where every knife and bread roll has to be in just the right spot.

I'm sure every year I get older I'll have a better idea of what I want to do when I grow up. Maybe I'll tell Mummy I want to be a singer just to be able to justify yelling at the top of my lungs. Or I'll tell Daddy I want to be a writer so he doesn't tell me off when I'm taking down his books from the shelf. Never mind the parents - this could be a very fun game for me too!