A Century of Stories

Blog One Hundred

Oliver's blog has turned 100! Since I first started sharing my adventures waaaaaay back in early 2014, before I was even one year old, I've shared 100 stories of my life in blogs. Well, saying goodbye to Grandad was the actual 100th blog, so this one is actually blog #101. That's over a century of stories!

There's been a lot to talk about in that time: from daycare to primary school and intermediate; from old house to new house; through birthdays and Christmases; across Australia, Fiji and New Zealand. So many memories...

You can revisit when I first tried eating solid food during a family holiday to Mount Maunganui (spoiler alert: I did not enjoy it).

Or when William first came into the world and I gave him his very first cuddly toy: a husky.

Or how about the time Bailey and I were just hanging out in the back garden at home, neither of us wearing any clothes. Must have been a hot summer that year.

Maybe it's time to remember that family Ollie-day we took to Australia with Grandma and Grandad. Find out which animal I saw pooping while we were there!

From going overseas to going nowhere - the dreaded coronavirus struck the world and we were trapped inside for months, but you can see how William and I kept busy in this lockdown lowdown.

Or what about when we moved from our old house into our new one. Watch as we walk through the house for the very first time as owners. Don't sit down though - there's not a single piece of furniture in the whole place.

And to take us right up to the present, you can see me in my future career as Dr Ollie the vet.

Oh all right, and here's the video of me falling on my face while ice skating. Happy now?

Looking back at all these old adventures is like stepping into a time machine. Just without the silly special effects. And that's just from my first 11 years. There are lots more stories yet to come...

Goodbye Grandad

R.I.P. 17 December 2024

It’s a very sad time in our house because after a short illness, Grandad died in hospital. He was 87.

Losing someone close to you is awful, and I was very close to Grandad. All through my life he’s been there with love and encouragement, telling jokes along the way. One of the things I loved the most was how funny he was.

Even from when I was little, I think I knew him pretty well, like when Dad tested me with these 5 questions about Grandad. I called him the Tickle Monster because every time he saw me he’d grab me and tickle, until I was squirming laughing on the floor and Grandma would be telling him off.

Every time we visited him and Grandma we’d buzz the doorbell, then run into his house and jump in his chair. But we knew he was so pleased to see us; he always gave such wonderful, big hugs.

We got to share some great holidays with him too, like when we visited Melbourne, Taupo (twice!) and the Bay of Islands. I can remember when we stayed in an apartment in Melbourne, running down the corridor with William to bang on his door first thing in the mornings, excited to get out and spend the day together. Then we’d have to wait while he found himself a good cup of coffee!

It’s a shame he didn’t make it until Christmas, but I have such happy memories of our time together. I’ll miss you Grandad - life won’t be the same without you.

Dr Ollie the Vet

Presenting a Day in the Life (x8)

Our focus this term at school was on careers. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a paleontologist - digging up dinosaur bones and discovering a new species that I could name the Olliesaurus.

But something else I've always loved are animals and now I'm starting to wonder whether being a vet might be a better career for me. It would mean I get to spend all day with some furry friends, plus I wouldn't have to go to the other side of the world for dino digs half the year.

So when our teacher gave us the project to create and deliver a presentation on a career, I decided I'd choose being a vet.

With a little help from Dad and Mum, I came up with a great presentation which I delivered in front of the class. In fact, so good was it that the teacher said it was the best presentation he'd seen and I ended up having to present it 8 times! Once to the class, once to the deputy principal, once to the principal, four times to parents at a class careers expo day, and once to Dad, which you can watch below. It even got me a special, super rare badge, which you might be able to see on my sleeve.

So, Dr Ollie proudly presents: A day in the life of a vet.

Jobs For the Boys (part 2)

Let’s get down to business

Now that I've started intermediate school, I'm not a young primary kid anymore. In only a few years I'll be able to get a job. Which will be handy for buying all those expensive toys I'd like, or that even more expensive Playstation 5 which I've asked for and Mum and Dad have refused to buy.

But what will I do for a job? Will it be my dream job of paleontologist? Or a games designer, since I spend so much time on Roblox and Minecraft? Or maybe something else. Maybe there are clues for what me and William could be in the future from how we are today.

A good job for me could be something that involves researching, finding and collecting things. I definitely have the collector gene, like Dad. My Star Wars obsession is pretty well known in our family. For example, here I am at a sci-fi collectibles event, standing next to R2D2, wearing my Darth Vader t-shirt, on my way to buy a Darth Maul figurine. If I had Star Wars undies, you can bet I’d be wearing them too.

Maybe it could be something more practical, like designing or building things. William and I have made some pretty amazing forts over the years, including fully covered forts and some open-air “Funtime Areas”. I'm not sure if they make buildings like this, but they should. They're much more interesting-looking than the places I've seen Mum work in.

How about William though? A couple of years ago I had some ideas about what William could do for a job, but he's grown up a bit since then. He’s pretty nimble and can rolly-polly his way across the floor really well, all the way from one side of the lounge to the other. So maybe a gymnast or some sort of job in a circus.

Waaaaaaay back when I was just two, I had a few different ideas about what I might do for work. Top of the list was something to do with animals, mostly because as a baby I was constantly cuddling (or throttling - sometimes a mixture of both) our cats. We used to have three cats, but now there's only Bailey. Hopefully that's a coincidence.

Anyway, I've still got plenty of time to decide. I'm happy to leave Mum and Dad with all this working nonsense for now. Me, I'm off to go do some gaming and eat snacks...

End of an Era

School’s out!

Waaaay back in the middle of 2018, I had my daycare graduation from Learning Tree and had my first day at primary school. Skip ahead five and a half years and here I am now, a ten year-old about to graduate from school.

It’s strange thinking back to when I started, I can hardly remember it. That was before anyone knew what a coronavirus was, and Mum and dad were working in offices every day, so I’d be at school about 7 every morning and not picked up until 5. Not much time for after-school gaming or iPad-watching in those long days!

One thing that stayed the same throughout my time at primary school was my love of the library. Just about every long break, after I’d scoffed down the last of my lunch, I’d go to the library to read, look for new books and just hang out.

Eventually I was there so often that I became a reliever librarian, helping to check books out for other kids and returning books to the shelves. It also meant I could get into the library at times other kids couldn’t, which was a dream.

One of the things I’m most proud of from my time at school was in Year Five, when I was the only one in the whole school to complete the Science Club. Sure, Mum and Dad had to nudge me (okay, tell me) to do the work on the weekends sometimes, but I proudly received my badge at assembly and wore it every day after.

Near the end of Year Six we had to come up with what we thought our ideal job would be. This was an easy one for me. I’ve always been interested in dinosaurs and know lots about the prehistoric world. I fantasize about discovering a new species and being able to name it the Olliesaurus Rex. So my sign on the wall read: “Future paleontologist”.

In my time at school, I’ve had some nice teachers and made some good friends. Some have moved away, some are still around, and some will be going with me to intermediate next year, where the next era for me begins.

Moving Up in the World

From crowded house to the big house

Ever since I was born I've only ever lived in one house. It was a nice brick house with a big garden and lots of fruit trees on Newstead Avenue.

I learned to speak and walk there. I practiced my bike-riding across the lawn there. And when William came along, we explored the nature trail together, and collected guavas from the tree together.

It was a great house. But as we got bigger, the house seemed smaller. All the stuff we had was filling it up. It was time to get something bigger.

We sold our house really fast. It was up for sale less than a week before it sold, and Mum and Dad were over the moon with how much money they got for it.

But then the search for a new house started. Or at least, it should have, except that the whole country went into lockdown right then, and we couldn't get out to look at any houses.

Finally, months later, we could start our search, and boy did it take ages. But skip ahead six months and we're about to move into the big new house we've bought. This is us walking into our new home the very first time as owners.

Moving everything you own is a big job. Apparently. William and me were at school on moving day. But packing up everything you have into boxes, then unpacking them again at the other end, creates a mountain of empty boxes. A mountain just perfect for playing in...

So that's our house moving adventure. We've lost our garden and our nature trail and our amazing grapefruit tree, but we've gained a big house with tons of space for us all to keep on growing in.

Let's Get Quizzicle

Taking the Family Quiz

In our family there's some obvious things everyone knows about others. Like that Dad enjoys reading books which need dice. And Mum is crazy about animals.

But there are some things about the other people in our family which we didn't know. So Dad decided to test us to see if we knew - or could work them out. He came up with a bunch of facts about different family members and asked William and me who each was for.

How well did we do? Watch the video to find out.

A pretty good score I think. And we enjoyed doing it so much Dad said he'd do a round two sometime. He'll need to make it more tricky if he wants to catch out these two family quizzing champions though.

Looking Back on the Ups and (Lock)Downs

2020 Year in Review

Boy, 2020 is going to be a year to remember. And not for just good reasons either. It was a year that started great and ended great, but was pretty strange and unusual in the middle. Like biting into a delicious chocolate, only to find there's yucky egg in the centre.

The year started with an awesome hot summer and lots of fun trips to swim at the beach. Even a visit to Greenlane Hospital to have my tonsils removed didn't spoil things. Well, not too much anyway.

But then suddenly we went from fun in the sun to lockdown at home. No-one even knew what a coronavirus was a few weeks earlier, and now it was the reason we all had to stay at home - no work, no school, no getting anywhere near anyone else.

It was a pretty interesting couple of months, with William moving into my room so that Mum and Dad could turn his bedroom into an office. Every day I'd have to do schoolwork on the iPad - completing exercises and uploading the stories and drawings I'd created. William would use the iPad to join in the sessions with his daycare class (even if most of the time he just munched on food and didn't get involved in what they were doing!).

After a couple of months though, there was no more coronavirus in New Zealand and we could go back to normal.

...and then we couldn't, because the coronavirus was back. Damnit.

But fast-forward a couple of months and it finally seemed to have gone completely, so before anything changed again we quickly made plans to go away on holiday with Grandma and Grandad. We took a road trip down to Taupo, where we visited some smelly thermal sites, had our first play in the snow at Mt Ruapehu and did lots of swimming in the resort pools.

Even though we spent so much time out of class this year, my schoolwork is still going great. And you don't need to just believe me - my teacher Mrs Hugo says so too. Naturally this is pretty awesome news right before Christmas, so a timely letter to Santa will help me get the best reward for my hard work.

And then finally it was time for Christmas. For months I'd been asking how many days it was until Santa got here, and judging by our visit to MOTAT one night he's arrived! As well as seeing him, we got to have a tram ride and see all the awesome Christmas lights displays.

My school report must have worked too, because there were presents aplenty under the tree and in my stocking on Christmas Day. I got some Playstation games, a big metal slinky, some Dogman books, a Dogman game, some activity books a big bunch of clothes and some treats. Definitely worth my being such an ace student all year.

So that was the year 2020 in a few sentences. Now there's a nice long summer holiday to enjoy - or squander playing Playstation and munching chocolate. What will 2021 bring? Year 4 at school, William starting school with me, another fun family holiday... and hopefully no more viruses!

Wrapping Up 2019

What did we get up to this year?

Santa's gone back to the North Pole to rest, my room is full of new presents and we're going to beaches for swims in the sea. That means it's summer time, and almost the end of the year. Way back 12 months ago, I had just finished my first six months of school and was looking forward to the year ahead. But now that it's nearly over, what were some of the cool things I've done this year?

In March we had our big Australia holiday (or as I like to think of it, Ollie-day) with Grandma and Grandad. We visited an old gold mining town, a wildlife sanctuary and other cool places around Melbourne.

I also completed my first full year of primary school. By the end of year two I could read all by myself - whole books, only needing help with a few of the longer words. Now I sit in bed with William in the mornings reading his books to him.

During year two I even went to my first school disco and a school movie night, both with my friend Talia. When the last day of school came I was very sad to not see her for a couple of months.

I'm also an arm circles expert now! After a couple of years taking swimming lessons, I'm now able to swim really well. I can do the forward arm circles easily, and am getting pretty good at backstroke too - except when I try to move my arms the wrong way and end up sort of swimming backwards!

For a while through the year it seemed like we'd have somewhere new to live. First we were buying a bach up in Wapiu, then we weren't. Then we were buying a bach up in Mangawhai Heads, then we weren't. Then we were buying a new house with more space for everyone... might still happen, but not this year.

As you can see, I've achieved a lot this year. Certainly more than Dad, whose main achievement was spending far too much money on a pile of comics which have been annoying Mum by being piled up in their bedroom all year. What's next? We'll just have to turn the page to 2020 to find out...

Jobs For The Boys

What will William do for work?

Every day Mum and Dad go off to do this thing called "work". They spend so much time doing it, but I don't really understand what it is. All I know is that they do it to get more money to buy things for me. Which is just fine; they can spend as long doing that as they want!

But one day William and me are going to be big enough to work too. What will we do for a job? Dad says he writes things every day, and Mum works in an office she's been at for over 20 years! I've already decided I'm going to be a paleontologist, but what about William?

He could definitely be a garden care person; someone who keeps gardens nice and tidy with his wheelbarrow and tools. He sure loves his lawnmower. Every time Dad goes out to cut the grass, or pull out weeds or rake up leaves, William is right there behind him with his little gloves and earmuffs on. He doesn’t miss many bits when he’s mowing the lawns either.

William might be a builder too. He keeps taking the toy tools from my room and using them around the house. Especially the hammer, which he’ll use walking down the hall hammering on walls until Dad tells him to stop. He says he’s fixing things, but I think it’s more likely he’s going to make a hole than fix one.

Or he might be a caretaker. This is the strangest one. William’s always loved mops and brooms. Even when he was a baby, whenever we went out anywhere he’d spot someone using a broom and be all excited about it. Now that he’s big enough to walk around and hold things, he’s always doing some sort of cleaning or tidying. When he’s not using his little vacuum cleaner inside, he’s sweeping up the ground outside.

So those are some jobs that I think William might do when he's bigger. A couple of years ago I made my own job predictions. Will they happen, or will any of these ones for William happen? We'll have to wait quite a few years to find out...

Remembering Robbie

Robbie Somers 2001 - 2019

Yesterday was a sad day. Our favourite cat Robbie died. He was 18 and a half years old.

I don't know what it will be like without him. He's been here at our house longer than I've been alive. Mummy got him when he was just a one year-old kitten. After that he grew into a big ginger cat, and when I came along we spent lots of time together.

Most of the time it was me wanting to spend time with him - gripping him in tight cuddles, patting him while he was trying to sleep in the sun or just chatting to him while he was eating his dinner.

His name was Robbie but I called him "Puss Puss". I'm not sure why - it was just a cute name for a cute cat. Unlike Bayley, he was always friendly. He never scratched me or tried to bite me or hissed at me - even when I was being pretty annoying. I loved to pick him up and really stretch him out - he had such long legs. Dad sometimes said he was part-kangaroo.

The bad side for Robbie was that he was so nice and friendly he made a very easy target for me (and later William too). Sometimes he got squirted with the water pistol, sometimes he got chased across the garden, but he was always my friend.

When Mummy told me that Robbie had died, the first thing I did was ask if that meant we could get a rabbit. But even though I said that (and having a rabbit would be fun), every time I go outside it feels just a little bit emptier now. I'll miss you Puss Puss.

Watch and Learn

Starting School

Oh this school stuff is easy! I don't know what Mum and Dad were worried about. Mummy even took two whole days off work to drop me off, make sure I was okay, then pick me up later. She may as well have gone to work and got more money for me.

It's already been a whole month of school. A month ago I was still racing around at daycare, and now here I am at school. Well actually, I'm now in school holidays - two weeks holiday after only four weeks at school! Oh this school stuff is easy...

There's a lot of things school has different from daycare. Clothing for a start - I now have to wear a uniform every day, like on my very first day in the pic above.

Everything goes by the bell too - we only start class, go for breaks, eat snacks and finish class when the bell goes. Luckily going toilet isn't quite as strict or by the time the bell went they might have to send a cleaner in to mop the floor.

I guess we do have proper lessons now too; a little bit like at daycare, but with a lot more listening to the teacher and working in our workbooks. I've got a cool soundbook where we find photos, draw pictures and write words beginning with a different letter each week; it's also the homework I'm supposed to do, but which I often seem to forget when I'm racing to go on my iPad.

But there are a lot of things the same as daycare too - bringing books home to read every day, activities and art in class, even the long days since I go to before and after school care. That's actually helped my education too - on one of my first days I learned about Nutella on toast, my new favourite breakfast!

One of the activities I got to do was a cross-country run with all the other kids, around the edge of our sports field. Small snag though: I didn't quite understand what the deal was with the spare clothes I was supposed to get changed into for running, so put these on over the top of my uniform, then went running wearing everything! Lucky there weren't spare shoes to put on too, or that would have got uncomfortable.

Our school's been going through a lot of construction for ages now. But luckily not long after I started the new library opened - so I got to visit on the first day and take a book out. How cool having my very own library so handy.

The last day of term we had a special visitor at school: an air force helicopter. It flew in and landed on our field; it made so much noise I had to block my ears. We all got to crowd around and have a look inside; that's me on the bottom right just behind my teacher with the white puffer jacket.

I think school is starting to change me a little bit though, either from being in a new class, having a special teacher, or having bigger kids around. Mum and Dad say I'm becoming more authoritative, or exerting my authority more. Like when I use "no" when I'm explaining a difference of opinion, rather than just refusing to do something like I used to.

But that's only to be expected - I am a big boy of five now, after all. A big boy with two weeks of holidays stretching ahead. Yay, this school stuff is easy!

His-story in the Making

My Four-Year Daycare Journey

Now that I've only got a few days left at daycare before I graduate and start school, I've been starting to think about my time here. So much has happened in this four-year journey.

In the beginning... At first I really didn't want Mummy to leave me there. I'd cry and cry until she eventually left to go to work, then I'd immediately cheer up, eat something and play with toys.

It was at daycare that I first practiced walking - taking tiny steps around furniture while holding on with both hands. I also found some favourite things to play with, like a colourful keyboard that I could bash away on like one of the people in Daddy's noisy music videos.

Settling in... It didn't take long before I was making friends and feeling more comfortable. When I was three, one of my favourite teachers brought in some turtles and Eddie the blue tongue lizard for us to watch and pat.

They also unwisely let us all loose with water balloons to fill up from a hose and smash on the ground to explode with water everywhere. Except that I was much more keen on looking after my water balloon rather than breaking it.

Master of the universe... By four I was just about king of the castle. I was having a great time making cars, buildings and all sorts of things in the construction area.

And I'd play with my friend Damiyn in the big outdoor area - scooping out roads and building volcanoes in the sandpit. Before taking all the sand home with me to scatter over the carpet.

But what's next? When I turn five there's suddenly no more daycare, and it really is time to graduate into one of the big boys. Luckily through all my adventures in growing up at daycare, I'm certainly graduating from cool to school.

A Class Act

Getting ready for school

Summer seems to have long gone now. It's dark early in the evenings, I'm being dressed in long clothes for daycare, and we haven't been to a beach on the weekend for ages. That means we're into Autumn now, and after that comes Winter - and school!

In just two short months I'll turn five, graduate from daycare and go to my first school. Even when I've seen other boys and girls graduating, it seemed like ages away that it would be my turn.

So it's a good thing I've been getting myself ready these last few months, by working on my reading, writing and maths.

 

As you can see, I've got pretty good with writing my name and drawing - still haven't quite got the hang of drawing hair yet though. You can tell I'm concentrating on my drawing by the tongue sticking out of the side of my mouth.

I've also been practicing my ABC, and can now read about half of the letters of the alphabet. Somewhat strangely, I could spell the letters of my friend Damiyn's name before I could spell my own. But I can ace spelling my name now too.

My numbers and counting are getting better. I can count up to about 30 before things start to get a bit fuzzy and I need to ask for help. There are even a few maths questions I know the answer to now as well...

So, that's words and numbers pretty much sorted; wonder what else I'll need to practice before starting school? I'll find out soon when I go for my first proper school visit.

What's coming in 2018

Big things happening this year

It's only a month into the new year but already I can tell it's going to be a big one. And not just because I'm going to complete my Paw Patrol toy collection when I finally finish that reward chart Mummy made (still 20 stars left to earn - arggh!).

Mostly this year is going to be big because I'll be turning five. Woah, that really starts to feel like getting older. Only a couple of years ago Mummy was dropping me off at daycare for the first few times and I was howling like, well, like William when he wants food. Loudly and with lots of tears, I mean.

And of course, turning five means also starting school. It was exciting when Daddy said he was going to go back to school too to be a teacher (maybe we might go to the same school!). And then it was exciting when he said he wasn't (he can just be Daddy now, instead of teaching lots of other kids). So in a few short months I'll be putting on those scruffy secondhand uniforms which have hopefully been fully washed and de-cootied, and walking up to the nearby primary school.

I may not completely have the right idea of what school is going to be like yet though. Each time when I talk excitedly about going it's because they have cool playgrounds there that look fun to zoom around on. Apparently there are also long hours in classrooms in between. But learning to read will be awesome, because then I'll be able to start reading my books to myself! I even offered to help Mummy and Daddy with road signs while they're driving if they're not able to read them.

Something else which will make 2018 a big year is William starting talking. Finally. At the moment it seems like an equal chance between whether he or one of the cats will start speaking first. It'll be nice to know what he's been meaning all this time when he points at an object and says something which sounds like "ang-weh".

What else? Oh, hopefully another family holiday away somewhere fun. Ideally with a bit more beach and a bit less stinky mud pool. And if it's later in the year I'll be able to read the signs and chat to William along the way. So bring on the 2018!

It's All Going Swimmingly

Making a splash

The last time I tried some swimming lessons it didn't go well. I resisted getting in the water, and when I did get carried in I spent more time crying than participating in the lesson. In fact, turning on my waterworks was about as close to an aquatic experience as I had then.

So it was probably with some trepidation that, two years and some cool Paw Patrol togs later, Mummy and Daddy enrolled me in another series of swimming lessons in this new pool complex close to home.

Fortunately for everyone, I'm much more confident around the water now. I look forward to my lessons, eagerly hop into the pool and am always putting my hand up to go first with practicing something. In fact, I'm so excited about it that my biggest problem is not always being attentive to the teacher, as Mummy and Daddy often call out to me from the side.

So far I've done lots of fun things with paddle boards and noodles. The teacher has also had us practicing diving from the steps towards her, although when I do it I always seem to go for height instead of distance, and end up jumping at her rather than diving!

I'm also likely to get a bit carried away with over-splashing when kicking my feet; quite often when I've finished this, the teacher has to wipe water off her face like someone's thrown a bucketful of water at her.

But one of the most fun parts of the whole swimming lessons experience is being able to play in the big pool and go down the waterslide afterwards. Now if only we had a pool at home I could practice in too; somehow the bath just isn't the same.

A Job Well Done

What will I be when I grow up?

Originally published 8 February 2016

One game that parents seem to like to play is guessing what their babies are going to be when they grow up. Maybe it's partly from wishing the babies would get older and move out of home... But some parents seem to get a bit carried away with looking for special skills in their kids that aren't really there. Like the boy who scuffs a kick sideways off his shoe and his Daddy thinks he'll play for the All Blacks. Or the girl who blows into a whistle with her nose and her Mummy thinks she'll lead an orchestra one day.

It's much too far in the future for me to even think about growing up; I've got far too much fun to have in the terrible twos yet! But I did think I could help Mummy and Daddy out a little bit if they ever feel tempted to play the game. There are a few things I do which just might suggest certain types of jobs when I grow up.

It's fair to say I have a very hands-on relationship with our cats. Which means hands grabbing them when they're sleeping, or squashing them when they're eating, or even lifting them up almost off the ground. This roughing up of the cats surely means a career as a vet is on the cards. Maybe just a vet with a questionable bedside manner; the sort of vet you wouldn't take your favourite pet to. Sure I'd look after it, but it still might come out with one or two bruises more than it went in with.

One of my favourite Christmas presents was my Magna Doodle, where I can scribble pictures of trucks, aeroplanes and animals. As well as drawing I'm also quite fond of critiquing other people's artwork, like when Grandma was trying to draw an aeroplane of her own. Since I can definitely spot someone drawing something that looks very little like an aeroplane, I think being an art critic could be a job for me.

Another good thing about Christmas was that my car collection expanded from just a couple to well over a dozen. I have great fun playing with them and lining them all up, but not just in any lines - these are very ordered, straight lines, where I'm quick to tell Daddy off if he puts a car in the wrong place. I'm sure I'll soon be ordering them by size, colour, type... So something pretty ordered for a job would suit me just fine; maybe setting tables for the Queen or other royalty, where every knife and bread roll has to be in just the right spot.

I'm sure every year I get older I'll have a better idea of what I want to do when I grow up. Maybe I'll tell Mummy I want to be a singer just to be able to justify yelling at the top of my lungs. Or I'll tell Daddy I want to be a writer so he doesn't tell me off when I'm taking down his books from the shelf. Never mind the parents - this could be a very fun game for me too!

That's How I Roll

From rolling to walking

Originally published 11 November 2014

I've always been a pretty mobile boy, although in earlier days it was more of the rolling variety. I could get quite a head of steam up rolling from one side of the lounge to the other. But now I'm a walker extraordinaire, taking paths, lawns and gentle slopes all in my stride. Literally.

So you can see how far I've come, this is me rolling towards my jolly jumper when I was about 8 months old.

Fast forward a few months and I've progressed to crawling; here I am being lured up the hall with a box of raisins.

Then in September, when I was 15 months old, I took my first faltering steps. I'd been practicing by walking around the lounge, holding onto the couch or the coffee table, but this was me doing it all by myself. Even if I did look a little bit like Mum & Dad had slipped something alcoholic into my milk.

All the way up to today, with me 17 months old walking like a big boy around our back garden on a sunny Spring afternoon. Before Mum & Dad know it, I'll be running around and causing even more mischief. And then I'll ask to borrow their car.

Call of the Wild

Crying Guide - How to Know How Bad it Really Is

Originally published 28 August 2014

Even though I'm a pretty cheerful boy most of the time, there are occasions when things don't go my way when everyone in earshot needs to know that I'm dissatisfied. It might be that I've toppled over when trying to take a few steps, or don't want to go to bed right at this moment, or my gums are sore with another tooth coming through.

Regardless of the cause, the result will be the same - a good, loud wail right from the pit of the stomach. Loud enough that neighbours might think a practicing guitarist got some tortured feedback through his amp. Or people in the next suburb over might think it a tsunami warning.

But I do make it a bit easier on Mummy and Daddy by signposting just how bad the cause was, and therefore how much attention I'm going to need before I revert to cheerful again. It's not the loudness of the wailing or the volume of tears produced with it - it's the length of time between each wail.

The way I like to show my displeasure is: wail - pause to intake breath - wail. Then repeat as required. The length of that pause in the middle shows how bad things really are. If it's a short pause, then not too much has gone wrong and I'll probably be mollified relatively easily. But as the seconds of that pause pass, the more breath is being intaken and the more vehement the next wail will be.

It's a little like counting the seconds between seeing lightning and hearing thunder.

Count 1 or 2 seconds between wails - not too bad. Count 3 or 4 seconds between wails - going to require more comforting to settle me down. Count 5 seconds or more - it'll be like Ollie Armageddon.